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Some friends were selling their automobile, so we bought it for my wife. The first time she drove her "new" car, I called her and asked, "How does it feel to be driving around in the lap of luxury?"
She replied, "I am sorry to tell you, but a 16-yr-old car does not feel like the lap of luxury; it's more like the armpit of luxury."
My sons and I were at Fort Fisher (in North Carolina), looking at a cannon from the Civil War. My 5-year-old said, “Mommy, if there was a bad guy over there, and if I had cannonballs here, I’d put the cannonball in the cannon and shoot the bad guy.”
I said, “That’s a good idea, but I have a hunch if there were cannonballs here, they probably wouldn’t work. I bet they’ve disabled this cannon so it won’t fire.”
He put his hands on his hips, looked at me as if I were clueless about “pretend play,” and said, “Momma, I’m not even allowed to light a match; how could I fire a cannon?”
Our 4-year-old had been deep in thought. Finally, he broke the silence with: “Mommy, Jason starts with a J.”
I thought, “That kid is a boy genius!”
Then he said, “And Aidan starts with an A.”
I started dialing the number for the local university Admissions Office, until I heard what he said next: “And Logan starts with a 'Low’.”
Whenever my kids and I come home and see my husband's car in the garage, my 2-yr-old says, “Daddy’s home!”
I was so impressed about how observant he was for such a young child. My bubble was burst one evening when the whole family went out to dinner. When we got home, our 2-yr-old saw his dad's car in the garage and said, “Daddy’s home!”
I had to tell him, “Well, actually, son, Daddy's in the car with us.”
Our 3-year-old has entered the "questioning" phase of his life.
Some of these questions are easy to answer. "What happens if I don’t do what you say?”
Some are difficult: “Why does God let people hurt sometimes?”
And then there's my favorite one: “What happens if an elephant gets snot in its nose?”
Our 6-yr-old fell off his scooter and skinned his hand and his knee. He went inside, grabbed the Neosporin®, and asked if he could put it on his scratches.
After looking at both of his injuries, I said, “You can put some on your knee, but you don’t need any on your hand.”
He said, “Ooohhh, that’s why they call it ‘Knee’-osporin. If it was for your hand, they’d call it ‘Hand’-osporin.”