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I was shopping at one of those warehouse stores with my 5-yr-old son. We had paid for our groceries, and were waiting in line for the employee to check our receipt on our way out of the store. My son picked up the large container of Dill Weed, held it over his head for all to see, and loudly asked:
"Mommy, did you remember to pay for your GRASS?"
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit our state, the governor closed all hair salons. Three months later, the salons opened back up and my husband made an appointment for a haircut. Throughout the day, he would give an update about his appointment time, saying things like, "It's 7 hours until I get a haircut."
Our son walked in just as my husband gave an update:
Randy: It’s 2 hours and 5 minutes until I get my haircut.
Josh: You’re getting a haircut?
Randy: Yes, I’m getting a whole bunch of them cut.
Josh: Daddy, you don’t HAVE “a whole bunch of them.”
I was having lunch with my 6-yr-old and he said, “Mommy, 6 is better than 10.”
I said, “Why is that?”
He said, “Because 10 is closer to being really old and dying.”
Our 4-yr-old saw the number 85 on his shorts. He said, “Mommy, look at that number: Eight five.”
I said, “Actually, that’s eighty-five.”
He said, “There is no D in it, Mommy. It’s eight five, not eight D five.”
Our 4-yr-old tells the same jokes over and over. To humor him, we usually pretend we've never heard them before. One day, he told a Silly Billy joke for the umpteenth time to his dad:
Josh: “Why did Silly Billy throw the clock out the window?”
Dad: “I don’t know. Why?”
Josh: “To see time fly.”
As his dad laughed, Josh shook his head and said, “That one ain’t that hard, Daddy!”
Our 4-yr-old loves to sing the song “Bubba Shot the Jukebox,” but in his version, Bubba does not shoot the jukebox. When our son sings it, Bubba shuts the juice box. I still can’t figure out why the cops showed up – last time I checked, shutting a juice box wasn’t a crime.